Thursday, May 18, 2006
sick

my head is pounding as i'm typing this entry.
i'm on 2 days MC so i'll be getting lots of rest.
i did nothing today except eat and sleep and watch a little tv.

this time i've got no flowers and no visits.
poor me.
my baby's happily dancing while i'm feeling so sick and neglected.
i'm just being petty and finding fault with him.

but well, sometimes when you do things to up your standard,
then you better stick to that standard.
expectations will rise when the standards are raised.
and it definitely doesn't feel good for me when those expectations aren't met.

i pity my poor boy sometimes.
he always has to put up with my mood swings
and all sorts of other crazy antics i come up with.
he's been handling me and my emotions pretty well so far.
this i have to admit.

but that's also why i feel bad.
i'll always have my mood swings and it's not something i can control.
i don't like throwing all of it at my baby no matter how well he can handle them.
i feel bad.
i feel guilty.
bad mood...
and feeling bad coz i'm in a bad mood...
even worse.

now what am i supposed to do?

i'm sick i should be resting... ZZZzzzz