Thursday, August 10, 2006
I don't like your world

big roomy lonely out of the way houses.
people form an impression of you a little too soon and it sticks to them like super glue.
noses a little too high up in the air for comfort.
judgmental and competitive.
hint of sarcarsm behind those smiles.

i hate it.

i'm trying so badly to forget your f**king past.
in all it's literal meaning.
it's not easy for me
things of the past usually stubbornly stay in my head... they don't budge.
this really is not something i'd like to have remain in my mind all the time.
it's of no benefit to either of us.
it makes me insecure and it makes me feel pressured.
like i have to perform better than every single one of them.
this in turn is not going to do good for you.

so don't make things harder than it already is for me.
leave the past where it is.
i definitely don't want to name the future after the past.
it just goes to show how much it means to you and how much you can't forget it.

i hate it.

i want to draw away.
to run from it all.
i'm being taken away from my comfort zone
and being put in an entirely alien world.
i'm not used to it
and i'm not sure i'll be able to adapt to it either.

i hate it.