Friday, August 24, 2007
yadda yadda

so are you guys irritated by that Vivaldi piece yet? =p

i know i definitely am because i'm finding other ways to get linked to my links just to avoid visiting my own blog.

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i ran away from home leaving my responsibilities there.
it was only studying that i had to do.
felt good actually to not have to worry or to bother about
anything and everything.

no obligations even.
not obliged to attend any event,
answer or return any phone calls,
make unneccessary conversations,
pretend to be nice,
or to put a fake smile on my face.

i make decisions for myself.
i do as i please.
i am not bounded by a social fence.

but recently, responsibilities have been weighing me down.

my dream event was stuck in my head during the study break for the mid-year exams. i tried to ignore it but i could not get myself to go back to studying if i hadn't done anything about it. i sent out some messages and formed my committee. now, it's on it's way to happening in real life. just a few more months.
i am going to make it work out no matter what. my responsibility.

today, i have officially been assigned the task of taking minutes.
apart from answering phone calls, running errands, and dealing with you-know-who's lame jokes and horrible singing in the car (which i have unofficially been doing anyway).
amongst other things of course.
i suppose i could deal with it. yet another responsibility.

don't get me wrong. i am not complaining.
i know very well what i have gotten myself into
and i have accepted these responsibilities.

but sometimes. sometimes...
the thought of leaving everything and running away just haunts you
when the little devil on the left have outspoken the little angel on the right.

sometimes. just sometimes...
i need to let it all out
i need a shoulder to cry on
and an arm around mine for comfort.

sometimes. sometimes...
i do feel lonely and empty
despite having friends around me.

faking a smile. again.

perhaps i need another day to myself.
all to myself.
i'll pamper myself with shopping and pizza.
again.
set!

a 1500 word essay due monday morning
and the current wordcount on my word.doc...
Zero.
this is the basis of my very weird mood.
and hence a very yadda yadda blogpost.

so now it's back to birds
and the benefits of their dispersal.

on a seperate topic:
do you know that some birds abandon their nest and eggs
just to go f*ck some other bird?
i wonder if it's only the city birds that have adapted such behaviour due to them having observed such behaviour in homo sapiens.
from stories of unfaithful husbands, i now move to unfaithful birds!

note to self:
breaking down is Not an option.
it is Not an available path.
i will Not let myself go again.